


Stupid Is As Stupid Does (Don't Follow Me, IDK Man!)

by screamingriotboy



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Evan will not take yo shit, Gen, Hide And Seek Gary's Mod, Hide and seek fic, Humor, I had way too much fun with this, Jonathan is a cocky son of a bitch, Kinda flirting but not, Luke and the others just want to be evil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-05-02 09:10:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5242694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamingriotboy/pseuds/screamingriotboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hide and seek in Delirious' opinion should not be so goddamn hard! But one bad spot that leaves him in hot water and running for his life with someone on his tail lookin for revenge means this game went from hard to fucking impossible. He has got to learn to test hiding spots alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stupid Is As Stupid Does (Don't Follow Me, IDK Man!)

Hide and seek should not be this fucking difficult Jonathan snarls inwardly, grinding his teeth as Evan swears angrily under his breath and Luke snickers past. He squeezes down into a tighter ball. His hiding partner glares over the top of their spot to check if the coast is clear. Jonathan peeks up just in time to catch Luke’s torn up jeans come into view from the corner -- barely pulling Evan back down before the older man is fully in the hall. The two squabble for a moment before settling down, apparently just in time.  
“Jo~n, Eva~n! Come out, come out wherever you are!” Luke sing songs.  
They flinch further down. The spot is too small and way too out in the open to be safe. Jonathan is pissed he was stupid enough to pick this goddamn spot; and based on how nasty the glare Evan is fixing him with, he's pretty peeved too. Jonathan glares back.  
“You didn't have to follow me!” he mouths angrily.  
“You promised it would work!!” Evan snarls back.  
Jonathan grimaces as he realizes the truth to the words. He'd been so sure of this spot- so sure of how well it would hide them. Not to mention how much he'd banked on Luke’s inability to notice shit. It had seemed so foolproof! But the glaring holes in that plan are now too obvious to ignore. He drops his head onto the box with a sighed apology. Evan’s glare looses its steam. He glances over the box again. Luke continues to purr comands at them to reveal themselves he won't hurt them, they'll have a chance to escape, other baby talked shit that grates on Jonathan’s nerves. Luke’s machete makes a terrifying swish through the anxious air way too fucking close. Evan pales.  
“Hello boys!” Luke whoops, popping up from the other side of their shitty crate spot. They scream and make a run for it. Evan, angry and panicked, yells as he runs. “I fucking hate you, Delirious!”  
Luke follows him cackling gleefully. Jonathan flees the other direction crying apologies between terrified giggles as he goes. Evan’s scream goes up a pitch, Luke howls in delight, and there's a litany of violent swears.  
“JONATHAN!!” Evan roars.  
Jonathan turns a corner further from the mess and finds Lui giggling madly in a horribly concealed corner. Flustered, he tries to defend himself.  
“I didn't mean to! It wasn't my fault! It-!!” Lui just laughs impossibly harder.  
Jonathan flushes in embarrassed annoyance and continues to stammer through (defeated) pleas for his innocence. Lui grips his sides, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.  
“H-holy shit-- I- I ca- I can't BREATHE!!!” The shorter man wipes his eyes and pops up, grinning. “I gotta get outta here,” Lui squeals in his squeaker voice. “YOU'RE BAD LUCK, DELIRIOUS!!” Jonathan jumps. Lui keeps screaming in that goddamn loud childish voice until it dissolves into vicious giggles the further away he runs.  
Jonathan snarls as he realizes what that little bastard has done. And there is nowhere to hide where he's stuck. Panic knots in his stomach. Oh, he is fucked.  
“Delirious, come out buddy. It's Vanoss man don't hide! You know I got you,” Evan calls in a false soothing voice loud enough to echo like a bad horror movie. Jonathan goes wide eyed - deer in the headlights rooted to the spot in terror. Correction: Now he is fucked.  
“Jooonathaaan,” Evan purrs again. He chokes down a whimper.  
Luke laughs and chimes in cooing, “Jonathan, you know you don't have to hide from us. Not that you can anyway. Why don’t you just make this easy an’ come out?”  
Hurriedly searching for an escape route he notices a door into the next hall and wastes no time ducking through and booking it. Their voices cut out, but he knows it won't last.  
Left, right, another right, left, right, straight through, just keep running he pants to himself. But the longer he runs the more Jonathan notices he hasn't seen anyone is a while. He finds himself smirking. They'll never find him if nobody else has thought to come this way. Confident, Jonathan slows his sprint until he's jogging, then slows further until he's at walking. With no one on his tail Jonathan actually takes a moment to look at his surroundings.  
It seems to just be a regular, sparsely decorated hallway you might find offices at in some soul-sucking company. Pale red painted walls, white ceiling, a glossy faux oak panel waist level on the wall, a few blank picture frames, and a fake potted plant. Typical. Boring. Jonathan snorts. He brushes through a pair of double wood doors at the end of the boring hallway and stops solid.  
Where there had been a boring but somewhat inviting hallway, there was now a stark white paneled hall: sterile, hospital esque, with a single wall of pure glass that acted as a window into the parallel room. It causes a deeply unsettled feeling to worm its way through Jonathan’s being. He barely represses a shudder. Thinking seriously about turning tail and running, Jonathan turns until he spots a familiar friendly face in the window.  
“Mini!” he yells happily as he hurries to where the shorter man is waving. Craig grins, relieved.  
“Thank god. Delirious, we've been looking everywhere for you!” He turns and cups his hand yelling, “Lui! I found him!” Jonathan grins.  
“I was worried man. Especially after Lui told me what happened. I've been trying my damndest to avoid Evan. He looks livid.” Craig laughs at the guilty look that sets on Jonathan’s face before he smirks and continues, “It'll be okay. Time is almost up.”  
Jonathan scratches awkwardly at the back of his neck with a small wry smile.  
“You can-” He's cut off by Lui running in then breathing hard. Jonathan turns his head to his friend, but quickly notices one of the seekers toy machetes tucked into Lui’s belt loop. Jonathan whips to face Craig and yells, “He's been caught! Run, Mini! Run!!”  
He slaps his hand to the glass as though he could reach through and urge the other boy to safety despite the barrier. But Lui stops with a bright smile and Mini just keeps fucking standing there! Confused, Delirious slaps the glass a little harder and pleads, “Go, god dammit!”  
Craig tilts his head and smiles strangely. “Why? I don't have to worry about him.”  
The Brit reaches behind himself and pulls out a machete of his own. Jonathan yelps and snatches his hands back as if electrocuted. The two giggle wildly.  
“Delirious,” Evan’s voice coos from the doors in front of Jonathan. He swears and swings to the doors behind.  
“Delirious,” Luke calls with a vicious gentleness.  
Four sets of laughter mingle dangerously, rooting Jonathan once again to his spot. He moans in anguish. Yep: he is royally fucked.  
Scowling, Jonathan desperately looks for any way out, but upon finding none he turns his withering glare on the smirking assholes behind the glass. If looks could kill he thinks nastily.  
“Angry, Delirious? Shouldn't have tried to be so noble,” Luke’s voice tuts playfully.  
“Or fucked up so bad,” Evan’s voice amends. “We've chased you long enough, Jonathan. This is the end of the line.”  
Jonathan growls. “Just come and get me already! Quit playin around, Evan!”  
Lui and Craig shake their heads with exasperated looks.  
“Impatient,” the door to his back sighs.  
“Always is. Hasn't changed in years,” the door before him responds tepidly. Jonathan’s face heats.  
“Fuck you!”  
“Not yet,” four voices taunt in varying degrees of amusement. He groans. But he's made up his mind.  
Without pause Jonathan turns to the door behind him, the one Evan is hiding behind, and sprints full force at it.  
He crashes through into something solid with a chorus of surprised grunts. Something raps him hard in the side as they crash. “Gotcha!!”  
Jonathan struggles, as does Evan, until they untangle themselves and pull away. Jonathan sighs and frowns at Evan. The other boy smirks in mean spirited accomplishment.  
“You know stupid is as stupid does, right.” Evan’s ears turn pink.  
“Shut up, Jon.”  
“You're just mad I'm right.” They both frown at each other until one cracks and grins spread over their faces.  
“Fuck you.”  
“Not yet,” Jonathan repeats with a laugh.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first BBS Fandom story, so be gentle ^^; ♡


End file.
